Somewhere in between the mess we’ve made, we’ll grow.
Some time two shades further, we’ll learn.
Such late bloomers, aren’t we,
but we’ll learn.
'lets meet for drinks tonight, in time for happy hour.' a cocktail sounded lovely.
but if that is happy hour, then what shall i call the morning?
you look perfect as the sun comes up, the first hour of daybreak is my happiest.
if i am first to arise, i don’t dare disturb you. always still, like a monument. your breathing, a commemoration of each day’s events we’ve partaken.
wake, my love…share the happiest hour with me.
“The smartest thing I’ve ever learned is that I don’t have all the answers, just a little light to call my own.”
I’ve never been one to settle in and make my home in uncertainty. As I’m an introverted, problem solver by nature, questions usually demand that I seek an answer, or at least a probable explanation as to why things are the way they are. Once I’ve sat with a question long enough to develop an answer, I cling to it, tightening my grip as I go, because I like knowing there are reasons behind moments of sorrow, pain, happiness, and joy. I like knowing my life is making a difference and I am living for something higher than myself.
But I am learning that, sometimes, it is OK to not know. Sometimes, people deserve something other than my carefully crafted explanations can provide. Sometimes, circumstances are more profound, more intricate, than we could imagine.
Because the world and all its complexities—its wars, famines, genocides, tragic events, and natural disasters—deserve more than simple explanations.
Because humanity, in all its beauty and devastation, deserves more than pat answers.
I am also learning that it takes so much strength to let go of control. It takes courage to rest without an answer. It takes bravery to sit there, in that place of pain and discomfort, and just simply be. This doesn’t mean I don’t care anymore about finding solutions or determining reasons—but it does mean I have chosen to embrace the mystery and will allow it to shape me, instead of always attempting to define it.
This is hard—so hard—because I am fearful. I’m afraid of becoming someone new. I’m afraid things won’t be comfortable anymore. I’m afraid they won’t make sense.
But I’m finding the courage to stay in this place. I’m beginning to loosen my tight grasp and fall into the beauty of the mystery, because I’m finding that our lives require us to do that. Our lives call us to cast aside our simple answers and to look for the stars behind the dark clouds, even if that means we have to sit there for a while.
Give yourself the grace to probe the heavy questions—the ones that emerge from the deepest places of your humanity—without the pressure of shaping them into something you can always understand. Let the beauty and mystery of that place shape you instead.
“Though it pales in comparison to the overarching shadows, a speck of light can reignite the sun and swallow darkness whole.”
—Samantha, Summer 2013 intern
Sometimes life will hit you hard. And just as you regain your composure from the hit, life will throw you another blow that will hit you like a ton of bricks.
I understand that life can be unbearable at times. The burden can be overbearing. And you tell yourself that you need to sort yourself out by yourself, because that’s what is expected of you; that’s what is expected of resilient, strong people.
But the truth is, whoever said you’re only strong if you bottle up your worries and sort your problems by yourself, was lying.
True strength isn’t in hiding your weaknesses and faults. True strength is in owning up to your weaknesses and faults, and then calling out for help when you know that you just can’t do it by yourself anymore.
You were never made to go through this life and its hardship by yourself. People were made to help each other, so don’t you believe that calling out for help is a weakness, because ironically, that weakness could be what helps you carry on.
There is strength in our weakness.
Don’t you forget that.
AFI - I Hope You Suffer
Really digging this new single by AFI, and I’m particularly in love with the lead guitar’s riff in the chorus.
"Cause if you’re happy in your head, then solitude is blessed, and alone is okay." -Tanya Davis